


Things Untold

by IlluminateandRelate



Series: I fix the end of Tokyo Ghoul [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I give some of what Ishida robbed us, Kissing, M/M, QS, Urie talks, confession?, quinx squad - Freeform, what should have happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 19:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IlluminateandRelate/pseuds/IlluminateandRelate
Summary: Why did you give him someone to follow?Urie hummed in acknowledgement.“After sensei left I got angry, fixated.”We were still here.Urie nodded.Mutsuki stopped talking, moving his hands away from one another only for them to become fists at his sides. He looked up. His uncovered eye had gone quickly bloodshot and a series of tears had begun a streamlined descent down his bronze skin. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”Aka Urie finally speaks and addresses what happened with Mutsuki





	Things Untold

**Author's Note:**

> I AM A SALTY SEA AFTER CH 179. This is me trying to write what Ishida never did and fill in some of his gaps. It's not perfect and pretty short but I hope you enjoy.

_How do you say the unspoken?_

 

Saiko’s treatment was underway, Kimi being the one to suggest looking for the source of the problem for the solution. It wasn’t perfect but maybe,  _maybe this would work._  The war still raged, though due to the immediate decrease in urgency lower class could handle much of the dirty work.

The calm, the dull, _the lies_.

How after everything nothing had been accomplished was a mystery to Urie. Perhaps it was the situation, after all, what could be called “The Dragon War” should make the perfect excuse for sealed lips. For “work now” and for “talk later” for dismissive remarks and fight, fight, _fight_. Urie was not blind, he saw Mutsuki’s shame, the way he walked, head down, body inward. “Don’t look” it screamed, “please”.

Everyone. Looked.

The way Touka uncomfortably left Saiko’s side at the hospital bed whenever he entered. The dragging gazes of those who’d heard stories, rumors of a “rogue” investigator and “experiments gone wrong”. He felt as if concrete had been slathered between his lips and left to dry, as if each thought of speaking the evil carried along hundred pound weights. Inside boardrooms, meetings, tactic discussions, aside hospital beds, and dinner tables Urie spoke as if nothing had happened. As if everything was fine. As if Mutsuki had never left.

Urie was running out of excuses.

Every passing night brought advancements, medical, physical. Every sunrise brought lives saved and gained- they were winning. With the dwindling duties came dwindling time and for the first time in months, the workflow seemed to slow. Brief periods of time came where his immediate thoughts weren’t work-related, and with these time stretches came Mutsuki. He could tell Mutsuki wanted to talk, to tell him exactly what had happened in that stretch of months, where he’d gone. He was suffocating in words untold, things unsaid.

Layers of sin and blood were been pressurized. Sentences that once could've been simple mistakes and bubbling words had been suppressed like flammable gasses and now they were ready to blow. One single spark could tear them both down. Urie didn’t even know how to approach the subject he so desperately choked in without burning. The things he thought, he’d tiptoed around were propane tanks.  _Why’d you leave? What happened on Rushima? (You know I love you)._

Midnight.

Urie was in his room writing up reports to the sounds of cicadas chirping a symphony outside the room. The house was quiet save for them. Night had always seemed like the best time for activities such as these, though, maybe it was just his way of filling his head with thoughts so he’d sleep easily. Sleep without the bloody faces. He could feel his eyes droop.

A light thud on wood. The creak of a door.

Urie knew who it was before they stepped in. He couldn’t help but smile at the face Mutski displayed, worried, apprehensive,  _quiet,_  so oddly reminiscent of earlier days. Of the before storm calm.

“So it’s okay to barge in now?” He turned from his desk to face Mutsuki.

Mutsuki took a step further in, closing the door behind him, “You know why I’m here.” he spoke quietly as he turned back around.

The hint of a laugh slipped from Urie’s lips, any mild amusement dripping quickly away,  _he did_. Urie closed his laptops lid gently, the anxiety swelling in his chest till it threatened to burst. Mutsuki was lighting the match. Blowing up the tanks- no truckloads of hydrogen secrets. He swallowed.

“I tried to tell you this a while back, but Aura- it's not his fault. None of it is. He was just following me.” No beating around the bush. Mutsuki looked down at his hands, wringing them with one another.

_Why did you give him someone to follow?_

Urie hummed in acknowledgment.

“After sensei left I got angry, fixated.”

_We were still here._

Urie nodded.

Mutsuki stopped talking, moving his hands away from one another only for them to become fists at his sides. He looked up. His uncovered eye had gone quickly bloodshot and a series of tears had begun a streamlined descent down his bronze skin. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Urie opened his mouth only for it to close again. He knew he had to break into the reservoir of thoughts, of feelings. Maybe a year ago he wouldn’t have been able to. Hell, a year ago he wouldn’t have been able to even allow Mutsuki to sit here like this. But it was not a year ago, and he was not who he once was. He was-

“Mutsuki,” he swallowed, took a breath, “after Rushima you were different.” He paused “and I don’t need you to tell me what happened if you aren’t ready.” Urie looked up, his words slowly growing in strength. “But I do think you should say, not just to me but Saiko also. When you left we- well it wasn’t the same.”

“Urie I-”

Urie could feel the words now, the untouched, they bubbled up one after another in his throat. “When you left we were so worried. You had grown further enough after Shirazu what with transferring squads, but after that, it was different, after that you changed, we rarely saw you, Saiko claimed you smelled of blood and then at dragon you-”.

His words were cut by gentle sobs. Mutsuki standing in his dark room standing out far too much in the white that adorned him. “I’m sorry,” he was looking down again, “sometimes I think I should just-”

Urie was up and across the room in seconds, enveloping, gripping,  _holding,_ Mutsuki. It was _different_. Mutsuki was no longer a frail boy comforting Urie’s weakness. Things had changed,  _they both,_  had changed. Mutsuki was warm against his chest. Urie’s head clouded with things untold,  _ever since the auction._

He pulled away.

“I think we should talk more with Saiko, she deserves to hear you out as well as me.” Mutsuki gave a teary nod. “I do have one question, just for you.” Urie stood still, not allowing his feet to do what they so desperately wished. Run.

Mutsuki looked up, green eyes wide  “yes?”

Urie took another breath before speaking.  _Strike the match, let it blow_.

“Are you in love with Sasaki?”

Urie could see the immediate shift in Mutsuki’s demeanor. His eyes darting to the left rapidly, to anywhere but Urie's gaze. The chewing of his bottom lip, the shift from foot to foot, toe-curling rapid instinct. They were doe eyes gazelles running from the lion of truth. Fighting flight, fighting the want to go, go  _go_. Plant feet into the ground. Breathe. Blow up your lies.

Mutsuki gripped the hem of his shirt, looking into Urie’s eyes. The air was heavy with the weight of anxiety and the silence of expecting.

“No,”

“You said-”

“I was wrong”

Urie felt the gas can explode. He was close, close enough to feel Mutsuki’s smooth breath blow evenly if he focused. Close enough to wish the distance gone. Urie tested the waters, a hand lifted to lift Mutsuki’s chin.  _If he runs I won’t fight._  He inched closer,  _please don’t run_. Mutsuki’s eyes were on his lips, creeping closer, inching. His body was a taut wire, inches from the destination, inches from desire. _A year_. It had only been a year really though, Urie guessed, quite possibly the longest year of his life.

Just centimeters from Mutsuki’s face he spoke once more, “Okay?”

“Yes”

The gap closed.

The flames burned within his chest. Mutsuki’s lips were softer than expected, gentle petals upon Urie’s. He pressed forward a little more, the hunger in his heart reaching its fiery tendrils as he applied a gentle pressure, unsure of his moves. He felt Mutsuki’s hand wrap around him, pulling him closer,  _closer_.

_I love you._

The words were still untold. Though, in time, he’d allow them. Whatever this was it was too fragile for the weight of a confession. The sprout of a plant in the spring cannot be overwatered for it may drown. No, it was best the keep it to himself for now. He had a feeling Mutsuki knew anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Make sure to leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed and let me know what else you want me to fill in the gaps for.


End file.
